The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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