I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
