Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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