this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
