I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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