I puked a lego.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
