the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
