I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Randomize
