Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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