I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
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All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
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she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
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