you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
