just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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