So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
