Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Randomize
