You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
