Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
