areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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