woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
