when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
