she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
