okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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