just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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