eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize