i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
