is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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