3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
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