I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize