I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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