i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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