I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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