reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
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