Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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