Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize