I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I look better un-naked...
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
