You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
