oh god the rape fog is back!
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
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