Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
