I CAN MOONWALK!
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize