I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
