Fuck appropriateness.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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