Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
What changed your mind?
Being sober
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
