Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
