I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize