Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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