There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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