I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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