he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
