Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
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