My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
