It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
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After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
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She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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