the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
