this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
