need another drink. this is the easiest way
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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