Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
