honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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