I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
