Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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