I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
