In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
