I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
