Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
