I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
