You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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