I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
You are a booty call, not a friend.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
