i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
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So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
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Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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