dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Come share oat with me in your robe
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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