it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
