I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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