I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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