I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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