You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
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I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
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So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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