Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
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And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
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Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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