i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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